by Sherri Kukla
It could be called the Dump Station 250, or maybe the Dump Station 1000. It’s the competitiveness that comes out in the guy-in-the-garage at the oddest moments.
He has always been very impatient about waiting in lines at RV dump stations. The best complaint was the time he was so disgusted with the guy in front of us who was taking forever that when it was finally our turn, as the guyin-the-garage rolled the rig forward, he looked at me, and said “I bet I can do the whole job start to finish in under two minutes.” I laughed. “Time me!” he said.
He was off like a flash ready to break world records.
The most un-funny was the time our motor home broke down in a long line at a popular dump station after a long holiday weekend. It wouldn’t have been so bad if we had been at the back of the line, but we were right in the middle.
The first thing the guyin-the-garage did was send our kids to look for our friend who had been jump starting us all weekend. I know, why would you turn off the motorhome in a long dump station line if you already know you’re having problems with the motorhome starting? He was asking himself that too. But once again, we had been behind the world’s slowest RV dumper and the guy-in-the-garage had gotten totally frustrated. He shut the motorhome off, realizing just as he turned the key, that was probably a very bad thing to do.
Fortunately, our buddy who was driving a small pickup and not towing anything was there. He got us started again before the line ever inched forward. Or how about the time we were waiting behind yet another guy, this one isn’t memorable for his slowness, but more for what he did to pass the time while he waited for the tank to drain. He was eating a sandwich. There he stood nonchalantly next to a large plastic accordion type hose that jumped around with what appeared to be live sewage, eating a sandwich while he waited for the tank to drain. Now that’s a guy with a stomach made of granite.
But the absolute ultimate dump station story, I am happy to say I did not personally experience. Some years back the guy-in-the-garage, his brother and their dad decided to travel together in a motorhome back to their home state of Pennsylvania. There were some interesting times as Pops constantly gave driving instructions, and son #2 exceeded the speed limit on numerous occasions in dad’s new motorhome.
But the best story was when they attempted to dump the motorhome for the last time. There they were in Las Vegas. These guys have been together for nearly 14 days. They’ve put thousands of miles on this motorhome, all while carefully instructing each other how to drive. They’re ready to get home.
I don’t know who was responsible for hooking up the hose, and none of them will admit who did it. But just as the sewage was flowing rapidly down the hose, off popped the hose. And still the sewage flowed.
I’m told it wasn’t a pretty sight, but years later, they still make jokes about the day they played poop hockey with dad.
Sherri Kukla is the editor and co-publisher of S&S Off Road Magazine. Along with her husband, the guy-in-the-garage, they are also the founders and directors of Thundering Trails, an off-road camp for inner-city kids in Southern California. Sherri Kukla can be reached at email@example.com or www.ssorm.com.